Random
Today's title is random... totally random... dunno what to put as title... so random... bleahx... hmm... today starts at around 5am or maybe 4am for me... dammit i hate that moment... don't know why out of a sudden... my usual dreams was wiped... just like 2am - 4am is a nice dream... then suddenly all whip out... for a few moment my brain become blank... what i can see is only white... yes... nothing but WHITE... and i don't know why i felt the cold creeping from my legs upwards... just like my dead brother's soul/spirit was to going to hug me ? or maybe trying to kill me so that i can see him in the ghost realm... the first person that came to my mind was you, Yong Han... i still remember i tried all my very strength just to call out your name... and guess what... i did called out your name lots of time and i woke up breathing heavily like i had just finished running... and wonder what happened if i didn't called you, Yong Han... maybe i would be dead this morning at 5am or so... because i know that my heart starts to beat slower and slower when i felt the cold...
Before i slept yesterday... i was talking to myself that if my small brother is not dead during birth... i will surely love him a lot more then the current elder brother i had... if my younger brother is not dead... he should be around secondary 1 ( 13 years old ) or secondary 2 ( 14 years old ) this year... thinking back... if my younger brother still there... i could had spent most of my time with him no matter how stress or down or even exam is coming... as i love him the most... not like my elder brother... dun talk about my elder brother le...
I promise to you, my younger brother, that after my death... i will come find you... and most important of all thanks for protecting me all along whenever i am in trouble... i know you were there since i was 5 years old... had the feeling that someone is aways beside me, protecting me from any harm that could cause my death... i only had to confirm that you ( my younger brother ) exist when i asked our mum... because she said... if you are not dead during birth... i will be 2nd brother le... and our mum almost died when you are dead that time maybe you trying to get her ba... but if she's dead... who would take care of our elder brother and me ???
She's a great mum i had to admit... i am sorry that you can't felt that... not like our dad... he's way to bad to even have words to describe him... I hate him since i was 5... please do protect our mum too like you had protected me since i was young... after my death i will take care of you... my younger brother...
I guess when i woke-up... my mum knows because she came to my room quickly and asked what happened ? why are you screaming out Yong Han this name ??? do you want a cup of water ??? ... for a short moment... i tried to catch my breath as i was like out of breath or something... and i told my mum that... nothing had happened... yes i do like a cup of water... thanks... mum... she went to the kitchen to get me a cup of water then off to work she goes... thanks mum again for caring me so much... then after that i tried to sleep till around 12pm or so... but was woke up by the noise that my neighbour was doing... so i just on com. and played a few rounds of C&C 3 with Ming... till almost 3pm then i meet Jin Cai to go run... lol i was late because i felt lazy today tho... lazy ar !!!... dunno why... lol... but i still went for the run with Jin Cai... anyway thanks Jin Cai for pushing and run with me... i am so touched...=] it feels great to have you as my friend Jin Cai...
After the run... i was suppose to go to Wei Ming's house to play Basketball de... but dunno why lazy this bug was so fat today that i felt even lazy to go to his house to play Basketball lor... haiz... i so bad lol... normally i won't so lazy one lor.. lol but dunno what happened... bleahx... so i went home, took a bath, on com. again to play game till now lor.. almost 7pm ba... planned what to do ahead but... aways turned out that it cannot be true... suppose to work tomorrow and go eat Ken House Ramen this Sunday de lor... but Sebas cannot said he was banned from going out sia... so i think YH also not going lor... oh well this Sunday... be it alone or with another person... i will go there to eat...
I left around (15 more days + 6 days for oversea trip) to spent before i go in NS lor... so no point making myself sad rite... which is why i am aways smiling no matter how worst the things can be... but sometimes i just break-down as it was too heavy for me to carry... so from a smiling face ---> crying was no surprise to those who know me long time... till then i think i take a nap... tomorrow work le... stupid 1 day work like i am a extra just because there not enough people... but oh well... for fun i guess and to know more people... hope so... haha... till then nite nitez...
Here's the picture for today:
Know what 's the meaning of this picture ? it meant: " Behind every happy face... there's a sad story... "
I ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR EXISTENCE MY YOUNGER BROTHER
James™
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