Thursday, May 13, 2010

__Judgement Day ?__

Today just sux... SUX... I felt as if i gonna break the mirror - in the toilet- after school when i went in there just to wash my face. I hate myself... I HATE myself that - I will never forgive myself for knowing someone like JinCai to be his friend... It feels sucks to be his friend... really... what is friend to you JinCai, what is your definintion of friend ? I hate living in my own world and assume that my definition of FRIEND and your definition of friend is the same...

To me, friend is someone who you feel comfortable talking with, maybe share a common interest and most important all, help each another to grow + learn or when in trouble.

I really want to know...
do you did what you define the word "FRIEND" to me ? did you ?

Most weird thing is, HuanLin tried to solve the problem by just hearing 1 sided story ?

About the project thing, you think in a group of 7 people (including yourself) and 3 people willing to cooperate with the leader while the other 3, just like JinCai, don't even show a dam interest in it while the leader is brainstorming ideas for the project ?
You think the group leader will be that free to keep on asking the other 4 of the members for opinion if by your define - ask them for opinion - if he or she want ideas for e project ?

- I think JinCai will be a WHOLE LOT happier to be in other group. He might just don't dare to voice it out -

What i now know is:
Yes they are :
Lecturer say A then you do A ?
Lecturer say B then you do B ?
Please man... this is not sec school.

If you say i am too serious to have fun around with, then i ask you, if you don't serious about studies, what you expect?
You said i think too much about the project even before the project started.
Then i had to ask you, is it better to think ahead ? is it better to "suffer" now so that you won't "suffer" later on as the deadline draws near ?
You also said, if a group who didn't plan ahead and just do the project and end up scoring maybe a few marks lower then those group who planned ahead, what did i get from that.
I tell you HuanLin, what those group that planned ahead get is the "few" points which they spent EXTRA time planning it ahead and such...

Want play around ? There's school breaks and study week to play around with... why choose study days ?
Maybe your reason is to just make life @ school spiced up abit, i totally agree with you; school will be dull if there izzen't any spice around to spice up school life.

Last, you SAID the MAIN POINT IS: "do you want JinCai in your group ?" I said, whatever/ anything. You know why ? That's how he always answer to ME, i know his respond differs from one person to another person base on how much he actually "like" the person.
I told him before in SMS that if this "chill" continues, i don't think our friendship/bond will last till anywhere in the future just like that i mentioned in my previous post.

So his - JinCai's- choice: "Don't want to be in the same group as me"

Then all i can say is, I guess you really don't like to be with my group. Oh well then, Thank YOU for spending 4 hours of your precious time on the 1ST May to meet up with us - CiEn, Hafiza & James - for the EAIRLY project discussion. I am SORRY that i TRY to get you into my PACE of study while you are not in my PACE.

Here's my song for today:


I skipped work today, because i am afraid i can't control myself and end up beating up a customer and got fired on the spot... so if the Manager or the supervisor decided to fire me just because of today, i will gladly quit, you know why ? you think SWENSON pay me high per hour as an waiter ? It's freaking $4.50 YOU UNDERSTAND ?!? i saw Shangri-la hotel, their waiter work for $8 per hour you know ? it's almost 100% more then the current PAY you KNOW ?...

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Things had finally come to an end or it's just the beginning...
James™
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